The Unknown

Do you know someone who likes to be in control all the time, someone ultra organized who plans out his or her days down to the minute? Maybe you’re that someone. If something goes awry in your day, do you lose your cool or get anxious until the situation is resolved?

I like to be organized, but some areas of my life are definitely more organized than others. For example, my work tasks are more organized than my home responsibilities. My vacations are carefully planned out, but my weekly meal prep is lacking. What parts of your life do you try to control more stringently?

As much as we like to feel in control of our lives, in all honesty, most things are out of our control. If we dwell on that, it can become quite daunting.

Last week, my husband took my 10-year-old son to his pediatrician for a medical concern. I had to work and couldn’t be there. I’m a nurse practitioner, so as you can imagine, I’m fairly no-nonsense when it comes to minor medical issues. When my kids complain of not feeling well or being in pain, they know it better be legitimate.

I had examined my son and didn’t find any specific abnormalities apart from some mild pain with palpation, so I decided on the tried and true “watch and wait” approach for 24-48 hours to see if anything worsened. When the pain started getting a bit worse along with some noted swelling, I decided it was time to have some testing done.

The visit to the doctor turned into outpatient imaging, which turned into an immediate ER admission, which turned into three hours of various nurses, advanced practitioners, and physicians streaming in and out of my son’s room deciding if his condition warranted immediate surgery or if a more conservative approach with follow-up after the weekend was more appropriate.

Different providers had different opinions on what the diagnosis likely was and what they felt was the best intervention. However, no one was 100% sure what the issue was.

My husband was trying to keep me updated throughout this ordeal, and as both a mother and a medical professional, it was hard for me not to be there when my son was having a medical issue. I felt out of control because I couldn’t personally talk to the medical providers and wasn’t getting the information first-hand. It wasn’t that my husband wasn’t telling me all the information, it was simply the fact that I felt out-of-the-loop because I wasn’t there.

Do you ever feel that way? That things would move quicker or go more smoothly or that there would be more concrete answers if you were simply present? It’s silly, right?  We sometimes think illogically when we’re not in control.

Right about the time I decided to head up to the hospital, my husband called and said the specialists finally decided to “watch and wait” to see if my son’s symptoms improved over the weekend. They still weren’t sure the exact cause of his symptoms but wanted him to take some antibiotics, “just in case.”

Symptoms did not improve over the weekend. After his follow-up appointment and repeat ultrasound 3 days later (which I was again unable to be present for), my husband called and said, “Head up here. They’re doing surgery.”

The specialists still didn’t know the exact cause of my son’s symptoms, but they had decided surgery was the best option to get a better look at the area.

Therefore, like any concerned parent, I stopped everything, turned my car around, and started heading to the hospital. Was I worried the whole way up there? Yes. I think the biggest worry was the unknown; no one knew for sure what the issue was. Was I praying the whole way up there? Yes. Did I push the worry aside when I got there to keep a scared 10-year-old boy calm and confident for the upcoming procedure? Yes.

I put my trust in the Lord and let go of the worry to be a comforting presence for my son. “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit,” (Jeremiah 17:7-8).

After the surgery was completed, the physician still wasn’t certain of the exact cause, as my son’s condition presented differently than the norm. However, he made his best educated guess (as we must do in the medical field).

I take comfort in the fact that even when the specialists aren’t certain, God knows and is in control. “Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit,” (Psalm 147:5). Praise the Lord the surgery went well, and my son is on the mend with symptoms resolving.

The Unexpected

Can you think of a moment in your life when time seemed to come to a standstill, as if the world stopped turning and life stopped making sense?

I acutely remember the day I got a phone call I never expected to receive. I was standing in line to order dinner at a deli restaurant with my husband and daughter in a town just up the road from where I was living at the time. My cell phone rang, and it was my dad calling me. If you know my dad, you know that call itself was abnormal because he rarely calls me, unless it’s something important.

I answered, and as soon as I heard his voice, I knew something was wrong. My dad explained in a worrisome tone that my younger sister had been in a serious vehicle accident, and she had been rushed by ambulance to a local hospital.

Her injuries were too severe to be handled there, so she had been transported to a bigger city hospital by ambulance because the weather was too poor to fly her. All Dad knew was that my sister’s truck was totaled and her condition not good.

I remember bursting into tears right there in the restaurant to the shock of my husband and young daughter. I told them what was happening as we left to go home. I remember feeling somewhat numb and completely distraught about my sister and the fact I was so far away from her.

I was also trying to quickly figure out plans for childcare for my daughter and what to do about school for the next few days. I was in nursing school at the time. However, nothing else mattered as much as getting to my sister at that point.

Once home, I quickly packed a bag and took off for the 3-hour drive to the hospital my sister was headed to. The hours flew by as I was distracted by fear and nervous energy. I prayed so hard and so much, already starting to beg and bargain with God to help my sister pull through.

1 Chronicles 16:11 instructs us to, “Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” I recognize that unfortunately, when I pray most sincerely and intensely to God it is often when I want something from Him. However, rethinking that, I recognize that I seek God more completely when I feel like I have little or no control over a certain situation…when I feel helpless.

However, I can rejoice knowing that “My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth,” (Psalm 121:2).

I remember pulling up to and parking at the hospital and meeting my parents inside. My sister had been rushed to surgery as soon as she had arrived and was still there. Once she was stabilized in an ICU room, they allowed us to see her, one at a time. I let my parents go first.

When it was finally my turn, it was heartbreaking. One of the hardest things I’ve ever seen was my beautiful, vibrant little sister lying on a hospital bed in a medically induced coma hooked up to a ventilator, IV fluids and medications running through the veins of both arms, restraints on her wrists, and traction holding her casted right leg in place.

I will never forget that sight for as long as I live, and I will never forget the sounds that released from her throat as her medication started to wear off.

I know many people wonder how God can allow bad things to happen to good people. I’m sure I was wondering the same thing that day. However, I don’t feel that God allows bad things to happen; life just happens…the good and the bad. “…He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous,” (Matthew 5:45).

Every human being will have times of joy and times of sorrow. God never promised us an earthly life without pain or suffering. Even Jesus, the Son of God had to suffer during His earthly life. What God did promise was that He is there for us during both the good and bad times to help us get through them. He also promised an eternal life without suffering for those who believe in and follow Him.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33).

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us,” (Romans 8:18).

“For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ,” (2 Corinthians 1:5).

Thank the Lord that my sister recovered from that ordeal without any major lasting effects on her health. After a couple of days, she was able to come off the ventilator and breathe on her own. Once stabilized, she was sent to a rehab hospital where, after several weeks of therapy, she was able to start walking again.

While I hate that my sister had to go through such a difficult circumstance, hers was a joyful ending. My sister is a beacon of good health today. She is happily married with two beautiful children and a successful career. She runs like 3 miles every single day. It brings joy to my heart to see her thriving and living her best life.

Sometimes the trials in life leave us feeling defeated but other times they leave us feeling blessed. No matter the outcome, God’s Word instructs us to, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken,” (Psalm 55:22).

The Unanswered

Prayer is another aspect of life that is out of our control. While we are in control of the prayer itself, the response to our prayer is completely in God’s hands.

Sometimes, He says “yes” and fulfills our requests. Sometimes, He says “no.” Sometimes, He says and does nothing, and like it or not, we must wait on His timing.

Unanswered prayers can be hard on believers because they can put doubts in our heads…doubts about our worthiness in God’s eyes, doubts about the amount of faith we have in God, and even doubts about God himself at times.

As hard as it is to understand and accept, sometimes unanswered prayers are part of God’s plan, some bigger purpose He has for us that we’re unaware of.

We can learn more about how unanswered prayers can be part of a bigger purpose in John 11:1-44.

Mary and Martha were sisters, and they had a brother named Lazarus. Jesus was a close friend to the three. Lazarus became very ill, so the sisters sent word to Jesus.

Jesus knew the outcome of this illness already, “Jesus said, ‘This sickness will not end in death…’”(John 11:4). Therefore, Jesus delayed leaving to go see Lazarus for two days after he was informed of the illness. He had notified His disciples that Lazarus was dead before they left.

When they arrived in Bethany, Lazarus had already been dead and in the burial tomb for four days. Martha sought Jesus first, and went out to Him saying, “Lord,…if you had been here, my brother would not have died,” (John 11:21). After Martha returned to the house, Mary then went out to Jesus, fell at His feet, and cried, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died,” (John 11:32).

Martha and Mary were grieving. They had just buried their brother, and people were still visiting their home to pay their respects and to mourn. Martha and Mary didn’t know God’s bigger plan regarding their brother’s death because Jesus had just arrived and had yet to reveal it.

Martha and Mary both indicated that they believed that Jesus was the Son of God and could have healed their brother if He had been present, but they also revealed their lack of faith that their unanswered prayers were part of a bigger plan.

However, even through tragedy, God can be glorified, “…This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it,” (John 11:4).

Jesus ordered that the stone over the entrance of the burial tomb be removed, and when it had been, He looked to God, saying “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I know that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me,” (John 11:41-42).

Then, “Jesus called out in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go,’” (John 11:43-44).

Jesus used the miracle of Lazarus’ resurrection from the dead to prove to those present and to those who would be told later of the miracle, including us, that Jesus is the Messiah sent by God to gift eternal life to those who believe in Him.

Like Martha and Mary, it’s often hard for us to see God’s plan during challenging times. Furthermore, in times of sorrow, it can be hard to seek joy.

It can also be difficult to accept that many things are out of our control. God’s ways are not our ways, so it’s hard to understand why bad things happen and why we can’t know everything and why some prayers go unanswered.

However, difficult times provide opportunities to grow closer to God and trust Him more deeply. I will leave you with one of my favorite passages, especially during times of struggle in my life. I hope it will bring you comfort as well during dark times.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging,” (Psalm 46:1-3).

Have a blessed week!

-Becky