God is Love

Valentine’s Day was twelve days ago, and this post was supposed to come out at that time. However, I just couldn’t formulate the words I wanted to say. I was occupied with other things, and I wasn’t really feeling the love this year to be honest. It’s hard to write about something you can’t relate to in that moment.

There is a lot of hype built around Valentine’s Day. We’re expected to show our love for one another by purchasing chocolates, flowers, or other gifts, cooking or going out for a fancy dinner, or exchanging sentimental notes.

While that day can be filled with positive feelings for many, especially those in budding relationships or loving marriages, it can also be a difficult and lonely day for those who have lost their loved ones or those going through separations or those who still yearn for their special someone to come into their lives.

Don’t get me wrong, I still bought gifts for my loves this year. I’m just as guilty as everyone else for falling prey to the annual commercialism of February 14^th. I didn’t want my kids to think I didn’t love them if they had nothing from me that day.

It’s foolish to think like that, but it’s the truth, isn’t it? Furthermore, we’ve now set the expectation every year because I love you so much, here’s some stuff to prove it. However, I hope that my actions and words, not the getting of things, show them every day how much I love them.

Some people feel love isn’t exhibited enough. Some people feel the word “love” is thrown around too much without any genuine meaning. You know all the idioms: Love makes the world go round. Love conquers all. Love is blind. All we need is love. Head over heels in love. They go on and on.

We hear and see and feel all these things related to love, but do we really understand love? The truth about love can be found in God’s Word. The Bible includes hundreds of references about love, including familial love, brotherly (or sisterly) love, romantic love, and the divine love that comes from God.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 describes what love is and what it isn’t: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

When you think about it, human love can be scary because it is not failsafe love. Earthly love can disappoint us. Our loved one can be taken from us or choose to leave us. People may tell you they love you today but then change their minds tomorrow when they’ve found something or someone they perceive as easier to love. It makes you wonder, is such inconsistency truly “love” to begin with?

The Bible instructs us on perfect love. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love,” (1 John 4:18).

We sometimes blame our actions, good or bad, on love. Throughout history, fights have been fought, wars have been staged, lives have been lost, poetry has been penned, songs have been sung, and lives have been created all in the name of love. I’m sure, if you’re like me, you can think of a time you did something ridiculous because you thought you were in love with someone. Looking back now, it’s probably easier to determine whether it was truly love or only infatuation or lust.

Therefore, the big question is this: What is love?

The Bible tells us that God is love. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love,” (1 John 4:7-8).

The reality is that Valentine’s Day is just another day. Love isn’t confined to a single day of the year, nor is love best represented through the purchase of things for others. In fact, 1 Corinthians 16:14 declares, “Let all that you do be done in love.” It clearly says “all,” not just some things. Let’s be honest; that is a tall order to fill.

However, when we study Jesus’ life here on earth, we can better understand what true love is and strive to love as He did. 1 John 4:19 declares, “We love because he first loved us.”

Know that earthly love can be fleeting and fallible. God loves best because His love is eternal, and He doesn’t change His mind from day to day; His love is constant.

Love Thyself

Loving ourselves is not always easy. In a world that persuades us that we can never live up to the ideal woman, comparing ourselves to others is often inevitable.

Some individuals were raised to feel that they are not enough to be loved. Others have been told at various times in life that they don’t measure up whether in school, their career, friendships, or intimate relationships. Our blind love for others can sometimes bring about inequities in our relationships that promote our insecurities.

Lauren Daigle explains it well in her song, You Say. The first two lines read, “I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough. Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up.” I’m sure many of us have felt this way at different times in our lives.

When we hear demeaning things over and over, we begin to internalize them and believe the lies that make us feel less than whole. Because we want so much to be loved by others, we often try to change ourselves to accommodate what we believe they want from us.

We change our physical appearance to be more attractive. We make ourselves constantly available to those we care about. We try to buy another’s love by gifting them things they enjoy. We cook favorite foods because the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. We boast about our accomplishments to make ourselves seem more appealing to others.

Often the ones who vow to love us the most are those that degrade us the severest. This past Saturday, I had the misfortunate of beginning my day being yelled at, cussed at, called an idiot, and told I was disgusting. It doesn’t matter who did it because although such things would have cut deep in the past, these days they’re mere stings. Whether this person truly meant those things or not doesn’t matter because in my heart I already forgave because I have been there before…said hurtful things, called people names, yelled, cussed…I’ve done it all too.

Matthew 5:39 instructs us, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” While I didn’t turn my cheek, I allowed the person to finish speaking and asked if there was anything else.

It’s taken me a long time to understand that we shouldn’t waste our time worried about what others think about us because there’s only One whose opinion truly matters, and that’s the Lord Jesus Christ. Miss Daigle again highlights this well in the lines of You Say: “The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me. In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity.” Thank you, Jesus!

Because I know the love my Heavenly Father has for me, I can easily move past those things I know are untrue about myself. He lifts us up and carries us when we get knocked down. He would do anything for us, including seeking us out when we stray from Him. “If a man has a hundred sheep but one of the sheep gets lost, he will leave the ninety-nine on the hill and go to look for the lost sheep. I tell you the truth, if he finds it he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that were never lost,” (Matthew 18:12-13).

We often work so hard to earn love that we often forget we are already perfectly loved by the One who accepts us just as we are. Furthermore, love should be given freely, not earned, as shown by Jesus. “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins,” (1 John 4:9-10).

Sometimes, it can be hard for us to understand or accept God’s love for us because of the bad experiences we’ve had. It’s often hard to love ourselves for the same reasons. However, loving yourself doesn’t mean you think you’re perfect or are better than others. It is simply knowing with confidence and humility, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” (Romans 5:8).

There is nothing you can do that could change how the Father loves you. You don’t have to try to make yourself more lovable because you are already perfectly loved by Him. God is the only one who will always be faithful in His love for you. Cling to that love, especially during those times when you feel most unlovable.

“…And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God,” (Ephesians 3:17-19).

Love Thy Neighbor

I saw an invite to a Christian women’s gathering on a friend’s social media page awhile back. I hadn’t seen my friend in years, but God led me to attend this event. I asked others to go with me, but had no takers, so I went myself because I knew I needed to be there.

I’m so glad I went because it was such a blessing, to be surrounded by like-minded women who love Jesus. Going strengthened my confidence in doing what the Lord has called me to do, to be a witness for Him and help lead others to Him. Furthermore, the neighborly love demonstrated to me by the sisters in Christ I met at the event also solidified Jesus’ love for me.

Not only did I get to reconnect with a dear friend and her mom this weekend, but I also met some amazing ladies who are passionate about serving Jesus. Literal strangers came to talk to me, hugged me, and prayed with me and for me. One special lady blessed me with a note of encouragement and a verse that I’ll share with you as well, “In EVERYTHING give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you,” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Those women showed me love through their hospitality and by encouraging me in my work for Christ even though they didn’t know me from Adam. That’s how God’s love works: His light and love are reflected in those who live for Him.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another,” (John 13:34-35).

God’s command is straightforward; we are to love others even though that’s not our natural inclination and often people’s actions make it hard to love them. However, Jesus loved every person He met, even those who persecuted Him. Even as He hung dying, He showed love as He cried out, “…Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do…,” (Luke 23:34). As God’s children, we are expected to love as Jesus did.

“’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these,” (Mark 12:30-31).

There are many examples in the Bible of individuals doing loving acts for others. One such story, found in Acts 9:36-42, is about Tabitha who was also called Dorcas.

Peter was traveling and continuing Jesus’ ministry wherever he went. After arriving in Lydda, Peter was met by two men who urged him to come to Joppa to the home of Tabitha who had gotten sick and died.

We know a few things about Tabitha. She was called a disciple, so we know she was a follower of Jesus. We are told, “…she was always doing good and helping the poor,” (Acts 9:36). When Peter arrived at the house, “All the widows stood around him, crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas had made while she was still with them,” (Acts 9:39b).

Tabitha loved her neighbors by using her gifts to help them. She reached out to some of the most vulnerable individuals during that time, widows, and made them clothes and helped care for them.

Because of the love she displayed to others, Tabitha was then shown love in return by those who mourned her loss and by Peter who used his God-given gifts to pray and restore her life.

Tabitha used her gifts to exhibit love to her neighbors and made an impact on their lives. While we may not be able to make clothes, we can use our own unique gifts to serve others for God’s glory. We can also show love in simple ways, with a smile, a kind word, holding open a door, listening without interruption, a hug, picking up trash, carrying a heavy bag, just being present, and on and on…

What’s love got to do with it? The answer to that is simple: everything. Love means everything because God is love, God loves you, and God instructs you to love Him above all else and furthermore to love your neighbor as yourself.

“I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord,” (Romans 8:38-39).

Have a blessed week!

-Becky