My Way

On a scale from zero to ten, how stubborn do you feel you are? If we’re being honest, I would probably rate myself around a 7 or an 8 on a day I’m feeling particularly feisty.

Females have historically been the caregivers of the family, and looking at things from that perspective, it’s no wonder we have tenacious tendencies. As a group, we have overcome immense obstacles to earn respect and the rights we have today.

Whether it be caregiving or another responsibility, we’ve learned to perform our obligations very well, and if you’re like me, you take pride in that. How would you react if someone told you how to raise your kids, or clean your house, or how your homemade meal could taste better?

It can be frustrating when someone else tries telling us how to do something we feel we are already excelling at, or when someone attempts to instruct us on a task we feel we could perform better than them.

Have you been there before? I have, and I know that is simply arrogance at play.

My husband and I were just having a discussion this evening about a particular event coming up in our community, and we disagreed about the date it was taking place. I knew I was right, and when he verified that, I won’t lie and say I didn’t feel a bit smug.

I mean, it feels good to be right, doesn’t it? It’s vindication, but it honestly means nothing. It’s definitely not worth getting angry about or fighting with others over.

Sometimes our pride gets in the way of our spiritual walk as well. It can be hard to let go of our own way of doing things and allow God to instruct our steps. If you tend to be a leader rather than a follower, surrendering control to the Lord and becoming His follower can be daunting.

However, the Bible warns us that if we let ourselves be guided by our sinful nature rather than the Holy Spirit, nothing good will come from it. “The mind controlled by the sinful nature is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. The sinful mind is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God,” (Romans 8:6-8).

My father-in-law is currently vlogging daily about the topic of obedience, and it’s great because it coincides with my blog this week. Surrendering your aspirations, your self-importance, and your life to Christ is an act of obedience.

Obedience can be hard, at least it is for me, but the Bible teaches us obedience can be a positive experience that strengthens your walk with Christ. Obedience to Christ is also a sign of our love as outlined in the Bible. “If you love me, keep my commands,” (John 14:15). “Jesus replied, ‘Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them,’” (John 14:23).

Although we may be amazing doing what we do on our own, God can lead us to even greater heights… more than we could ever imagine if we only allow Him free reign. I’m going to strive to let go of some of my stubborn pride and be more submissive to the Lord. I hope you will too.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up,” (James 4:10).

Careless Words

Have you ever encountered someone who talked so much you could barely get a word in? It can be frustrating, but sometimes people just need to get things off their chests. I’m sure I’ve word vomited on others before, and I’m sure they were overwhelmed hearing it.

The Bible does provide some guidance when it comes to verbalization. “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles,” (Proverbs 21:23). Being wise with our choice of words and how we convey them to others is important, along with giving others an opportunity to voice their own thoughts.

Overall, as human beings, we are social people. We like to get together in groups, and we like to talk. When it comes to communication, some of us have been blessed with the “gift of gab” more so than others. I am one of the others; I take after my dad in that aspect. My mom, on the other hand, can easily talk with anyone.

As I’ve gotten older, my socializing has improved, especially within my line of work. You can’t really help a patient if you can’t communicate with them.

I do feel blessed that God made me a good listener, and I’ve always tried to be “quick to listen, slow to speak…” as instructed in James 1:19. Now, the “slow to anger” part is another story that I struggle with at times, but that’s for another day.

However, when I’m with a group of friends or with family, I’m more talkative. It’s often in these groups I don’t guard my tongue as I should, and I find myself wading into the dreaded gossip waters, having a sharp tongue at times, and speaking in ways that do not glorify God.

I dislike gossip in general because I know it would hurt to learn others were talking about me or judging me. I also despise drama because it just annoys me or makes me uncomfortable. However, sometimes in the moment around a group of people, you get lured into the conversation, and it’s hard to extricate yourself, even when you know it’s wrong.

If we’re honest, at some point we’ve all looked at someone else and put them down to make ourselves feel better about our own flaws. While we may not always say these negative things out loud, we’re still thinking them.

The Bible warns us that being duplicitous is not pleasing to God. When we’re praising Him in one breath and the next pointing out our neighbor’s second new beau within the last few months, we’re not doing ourselves or God any favors.

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water,” (James 3:9-12).

If we’re putting others down, instead of lifting them up, why would the Lord elevate us? We can’t build a strong relationship with Him if we’re tearing others down.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slanders, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” (Ephesians 4:29, 31-32).

Unlovable

Jesus himself gave us a command in John 13:34-35, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

It seems so simple, right? However, I think we all know it’s not. If we’re being honest, I bet you could name one person right now that you would have difficulty feeling love for.

Some people just rub us the wrong way, sometimes for no particular reason apart from differences in personalities. Some people have done us wrong in the past, sometimes unknowingly. I’m no different. I regretfully know I have disappointed, hurt, and belittled before.

We can also lack loving feelings for strangers. For example, I detest when someone cuts in front of me in line. I despise it when someone pulls out in front of me and then drives 5 miles under the speed limit. I also loathe when someone rides my back bumper when I’m driving 5 miles over the speed limit, then flips me the bird while passing me on a curve. Do you think I smile and wave as they go by saying, “What a loveable person?”

I’ll answer that for you. No, no I do not. Honestly, my list could go on and on. It’s hard to show love when you’re annoyed or angry, at least it is for me.

Then there are some people who are intentionally cruel. Loving them can be hardest of all. However, Jesus instructs us to love them anyway.  “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you,” (Luke 6:27-28).

You can find a great example in John 8:1-11 of one of Jesus’ many acts of love toward one whom others criticized.

In this passage, Jesus was teaching in the temple courts of Jerusalem. During this time, the religious leaders brought a woman who had committed adultery in front of the crowd. They told Jesus of her offence, reminded him the punishment from the Law of Moses was to stone her, and asked Him what He thought about the situation.

In true Jesus fashion, His answer was perfect. “When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her,’” (John 8:7).

After that chastisement, everyone in the crowd began to leave. Finally, it was just Jesus and the woman remaining. “Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ ‘No one, sir,’ she said. ‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin,’” (John 8:10-11).

I think this passage is so powerful because it’s honest. Yes, the woman sinned against her husband. There’s no disputing that she was guilty as charged. However, Jesus showed her love and forgave her while still instructing her to change her sinful ways.

We’ve all done terrible things in our lives, and none of us is worthy. None of us could throw that stone.

Despite this, the Lord’s love for us prevails. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” (Romans 5:8). My favorite verse in the Bible also attests to this. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,” (John 15:13).

We surrender our lives to Christ because we love Him. We mind our tongues and encourage others because we love the Lord, and we want our words and actions to reflect Jesus’ love for us. We love those who are hard to love because God tells us to, because we love Him enough to be obedient, and because He loves us despite our sins.

“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love,” (2 John 1:6).

Have a blessed week!

-Becky