Laugh or Cry

I’m sure most people have heard the Woody Allen quote, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

Have you ever planned a trip or activity and despite weeks of preparation, it went completely wrong? That’s what happened yesterday.

My 17-year-old daughter was invited to her boyfriend’s senior prom, but there was one issue: he lives about 3 ½ hours away. Once my husband and I talked and decided she could go, the planning began in earnest.

Prom can be a big deal for teenagers, especially girls. The dress, shoes, hair, nails, make-up, jewelry, matching corsage and boutonniere, etc. all are parts of the special event that lasts a mere three to four hours.

My daughter booked her hair appointment with a specific stylist two weeks in advance at a salon in the city where the event was being held. After the 3 ½ hour drive, we arrived at the salon to find my daughter’s appointment had been switched to a different stylist.

When she met with the new stylist for her up-do, the lady told her she didn’t know how to do those. All the other stylists were fully booked and already with customers, so we were told “sorry,” and offered a 20 percent discount on our next visit. We declined and left.

At 3 PM on a prom-night Saturday, there were no other salons with availability. Therefore, we headed to our hotel to try to do something with my daughter’s hair.

We arrived at the hotel at 4 PM; check-in began at 3 PM. My daughter was supposed to be ready and present for pictures with her date and his friends at 5 PM. At check-in, the hotel receptionist told us they were down a housekeeper, and our room wasn’t yet ready.

Then, my daughter got a call from her date telling her his vehicle broke down on the side of the road while on his way to pick her up. He then forgot the prom tickets in his broken down car.

The friend group was also supposed to eat at a steakhouse, but when they called to verify reservations, they were told the restaurant could accommodate only six people. There were seven in their group. Therefore, they had to scramble to find another place to dine.

It was one of those situations when you feel you could either laugh or cry, when you want to throw your hands up and ask “What next Lord?” but are also too afraid to in case you jinx yourself.

I tried to keep the mood light-hearted for my daughter’s sake because I just wanted her to have a good time. I told her, “This is one of those times we’ll look back on later and laugh about.” She didn’t agree.

My mom, who drove, was thoroughly annoyed, so much so that she stopped and made me take over the job of driving her car, which never happens. Additionally, my daughter, who knew only her date, was so stressed out she was sick to her stomach by the time we finally met up with everyone.

Luckily, everything turned out okay. The hotel manager was able to get us into a different room that had already been cleaned. After finding four bobby pins in my purse, watching a quick online video about how to do a simple chignon, and applying what seemed like a half a can of hairspray, I (someone who can barely manage a braid) was able to complete a tolerable up-do for my daughter.

We managed to meet my daughter’s date at a park for pictures after he got a ride from one of his friends, and his parents met them with another vehicle and the forgotten tickets. The group also got last-minute reservations at an Italian restaurant and finally made it to prom safe and sound.

While this may be a trivial example of plans gone awry, it does exemplify the fact that just because we make plans and want things to go a certain way, it doesn’t mean they always will.

Proverbs 19:21 reveals to us that, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Unpleasant and inconvenient things happen sometimes, but it doesn’t mean God is out to spite us. He may simply have something else planned for us or may be keeping us from a harmful situation we don’t even realize exists, like avoiding a car accident by a few minutes because you happen to be running late one day. That’s happened to me before. Have you had a similar experience?

From Bitterness to Blessing

When I think of unrealized plans, I think of Naomi from the Bible.

Naomi was an Israelite woman who lived in Bethlehem with her husband and two sons. I’m sure like any wife and mother, she had many plans for her family’s future and hoped to see each of her loved ones flourish. She probably had dreams that her sons would settle down with kind, god-fearing, Israelite women and start families of their own while she and her husband basked in their family legacy.

Unfortunately, that’s not how the story played out. After a terrible famine, Naomi and her family fled from their home to neighboring Moab in search of food. There they settled for the time being. After being uprooted from her home and transplanted to a foreign country, Naomi’s husband then died.

Despite this, Naomi and her sons carried on with life, and both sons married Moabite women. Fast forward about 10 years, and we find Naomi has also buried her two sons who each left behind a childless widow.

Consequently, not only is Naomi a woman in a foreign land, but she’s also widowed, aging, and without a male relative to care for her. In her time, this would have put Naomi in an extremely dire situation.  She was left with no means of income with two daughters-in-law to look after.

Naomi felt the weight of her burdens as she told her daughters to return to their Moabite families, “…the Lord’s hand has turned against me!” (Ruth 1:13). Have you ever felt this way?

Despite the hardships in Naomi’s life, she didn’t allow those things to consume her. Discovering the famine had ceased and Bethlehem was becoming plentiful again, Naomi chose to return home. While one daughter-in-law, Orpah, rejoined her family in Moab, the other, Ruth, chose to remain with Naomi and help care for her.

Change isn’t easy, especially after a loss. Although Naomi took steps to ensure the future of herself and Ruth, she continued to grieve. In Ruth 1:20, upon Naomi’s return to Bethlehem she told the other women there, “Don’t call me Naomi…” (meaning pleasant). “Call me Mara…” (meaning bitter). She may have been bitter toward God, but she wasn’t without faith, and that made all the difference.

Although Naomi felt God had turned against her, He hadn’t. God brought joy back into Naomi’s life through Ruth’s second marriage to a man named Boaz, who was a relative of Naomi’s late husband.

Ruth and Boaz had a son named Obed who was dearly loved by Naomi. His bloodline passed down through generations and included King David and Jesus, King of Heaven and Earth. I encourage you to read the story of Naomi yourself in Ruth 1-4.

Rock Bottom

Sometimes things don’t go our way, and many times it seems unfair. Sometimes we get angry at God or unfairly blame Him for our problems, and you know what? That’s okay. God can handle our anger. He can take it and turn it into forgiveness, peace, and love.

At my lowest of lows, I was a 20-year-old college student with dreams of becoming a physical therapist. I also found myself pregnant and in a toxic relationship with someone I realized I didn’t truly know at all. I was scared to death.

I had naively gotten an apartment with this person, co-signed a vehicle for him, and gotten him a phone on my plan. He later decided he was not going to pay for his part of any of these, and for a full-time college student, it was devastating.

I also discovered he was seeing and manipulating other women as well. He put me through financial and mental anguish. I remember being so embarrassed and angry, mostly with myself, as I saw all I had worked toward slipping through my fingers and the disappointment on the faces of those closest to me.

Although I made bad choices that destroyed my plans for the future, I soon found out, it wasn’t the end of the world. I reached out to God and found He had other plans for me.

Despite that being the worst time period in my life, much good came from it as well. I learned many valuable life lessons from that trying experience. I was introduced to some amazing people who became a second family to me. I also received one of the biggest blessings of my life, my daughter. I couldn’t imagine who I would be today without her influence.

It is written in Jeremiah 29:11, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and a hope.’”

While I did begin graduate school for physical therapy and was doing well, I found the rigor and time constraints related to the program were too much to overcome while trying to raise a young child. The responsibility of parenthood came first for me, so I sacrificed that dream and trusted God to lead me toward another; He did just that.

At some time or another, we all have experienced unrealized hopes and dreams. Maybe you didn’t get the job you were hoping for. Maybe you were left at the altar. Maybe you’re having difficulty conceiving. Maybe you missed a game-winning shot. Maybe your spouse cheated on you. Maybe you had a debilitating accident. Maybe you filed for bankruptcy. Maybe you lost someone close to you.

Although storms will undoubtedly sweep through our lives at times, we must remember that the sun will eventually shine again. God doesn’t allow unexpected, stressful situations to happen just because He can. He loves us, and sometimes loving us includes steering us in a different direction for our own good.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are…” (1 John 3:1).

I’ve made many plans throughout my life that went awry. During those times, I often didn’t understand why things were happening as they were. Looking back now, I realize that God had a purpose for my pain and disappointment, and often terrible circumstances became blessings in disguise. I know now that His plans are always better than mine. That doesn’t mean the road won’t be bumpy, just that it will be worth it.

“Indeed, my plans are not like your plans, and my deeds are not like your deeds, for just as the sky is higher than the earth, so my deeds are superior to your deeds and my plans superior to your plans,” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Have a blessed week!

-Becky