Be There
If you have school-age children, you most likely sent them back to school sometime over the last few weeks. My three children returned last Tuesday.
This school year and the last have been a little different for me…and a little more difficult emotionally. Last year, my youngest child started Kindergarten, and this year my oldest is a high school senior…a beginning for one and an ending for the other.
I hope and pray at the start of every school year that my children will reach their full academic potential, that they’ll use the gifts that God gave them to pursue their goals and dreams, and that they’ll give God the glory no matter their successes or failures.
This is also a time that I really dwell on what my responsibilities are as a parent and whether I’m succeeding in those obligations or not. As I prepare my daughter to go out on her own as an adult next year, I realize that my presence is so important in my kids’ lives because my time to guide them is limited.
I hope I am preparing them to be kind, responsible, and productive citizens. More importantly, I hope I am grooming them to be clothed in Christ as they make their way in the world, as instructed in Colossians 3:12. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
When you consider how much time you actually get with your kids, it’s not a whole lot in the grand scheme of things…18 years versus a lifetime that you hope lasts until old age for them. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case, which makes the time we do get with them even more priceless.
Life flies by quicker than you realize. One day you’re bringing your baby home for the first time and the next, you wake up and realize you have a high school senior who is only going to be living with you full-time for another 12 months, and the clock becomes an enemy.
For me, it’s important to be there for my kids whenever I can be. It’s also important to help my kids remember to keep God at the focus of their lives. That can be a hard thing to do, especially as the world pushes different priorities on us. I struggle with this a lot as well, and while I often fail, I continue to do my best to overcome those temptations.
God’s Word instructs us to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it,” (Proverbs 22:6).
Being a mother is one of my most important callings from God, and I take that calling very seriously. It’s important for parents to be the godly leaders in their children’s lives, to be present and be good examples for their children…to encourage them to be around other godly people and pursue opportunities that the Lord is leading them toward.
If you and your spouse have different priorities when it comes to raising your children, it can be frustrating and difficult not only to parent but to function as a couple as well.
The Bible instructs us that fathers are to be the spiritual leaders of the household, but that’s not always the case. While I’ve talked to my dad about the Lord, I don’t think he has a relationship with Him, although I pray that he will.
My mom was the person who first introduced me to the Lord as a young child. I still remember my first children’s Bible and the illustrations that were in it. She taught me how to pray and would pray with me before bedtime. When I was older, my mom took my siblings and me to church every week. She also helped in the church, teaching the younger children in Bible School and Sunday School.
I also encourage my children in their walks with Christ…making sure everyone is up and ready for church on Sunday, initiating prayer at dinner, supporting participation in church youth group, AWANA, and Bible School and helping with those activities when I can. I read a Bible story at night with my two youngest kids and say bedtime prayers with them. I check up on my oldest and her devotional time. I know I could and should do more, but taking time to do those simple things is important to me and hopefully to my kids.
The Bible instructs us, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us,” (Titus 2:7-8).
This is difficult for me. I know I often fall short in setting a good example for my kids, both in my actions and my speech. I continue to work on those things, ask for forgiveness when I fail, and encourage my kids to conduct themselves in a better manner than my poor example.
The easiest and best way I can be there for my children is to simply be present, be approachable, and be intentional. Am I winning at being a parent? I don’t really know. I mean, how do you judge that? When your kids grow up and later tell you that they appreciate you and you did a good job? When others tell you that you’ve got great kids?
I do know that my kids know I love them because I tell them and show them every day, and I also remind them that no matter how much I love them (which is indescribable), God loves them even more.
“These commandments that I give you today are to be in your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates,” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9).
While my children are still under my roof and guidance, I will continue to be a good mother to them and lead them toward the Lord. My reward may not be a winner’s podium, medal, trophy, or recurrent accolades, but it will be so much sweeter…spending precious time with my children, making memories with my children, sharing God’s Word with them, growing closer to them and hopefully closer to God as a family.
Remain in the Vine
In the book of John, Jesus teaches his disciples (and us) how to live a life of meaning and purpose by completing actions that bear fruit and bring others to Christ. You can read the full parable in John 15:1-17.
In the first part of the parable, Jesus says, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing,” (John 15:1-5).
We (followers of Christ) are to be the branches attached to Jesus, the vine. Jesus calls himself the true vine, meaning He is our anchor, our security, the source of our strength and nourishment, the one to which we cling to thrive and grow.
At times, some of us veer away from the true vine and try to attach our branch to other things. We put our time, effort, and faith into things apart from Jesus and try to grow and thrive without Him. Other times, we may try to break off from the vine and produce fruit on our own.
However, Jesus tells us clearly that we can do nothing without Him. You may accomplish many things, but to have anything that is fulfilling, everlasting, life-altering, it must stem from Jesus. We bear fruit when we are attached to the one true vine, nothing else.
Jesus goes on to tell us that God is the gardener who will do one of two things with branches attached to the vine. If the branches are bearing fruit, He will prune them to make them even more fruitful or He will cut off branches that aren’t bearing any fruit. God removes blemishes or sin from our branches to improve them so that we can do even more for Him.
Sometimes, while there are things in our lives that makes us feel good, those things may need to be removed because God hasn’t called us to do them and they don’t bring Him any glory. When God prunes our branches, He’s preparing us for even better opportunities, even more fruit. We need to trust that He knows what is best for us and allow him to work in our lives.
Later in the chapter, Jesus further elaborates as He says, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit-fruit that will last…” (John 15:16a). Not only did Jesus choose us, but He hired us, with the price of His blood, to bear fruit that would last from generation to generation, and that starts right in your own home.
Are you trusting in God to prune away those things in your life that aren’t bringing glory to Him? Are you attached to the true vine that is Jesus, or are you attached to something else? “…apart from me you can do nothing,” (John 15:5b).
More Than a Temporary Crown
Are you a competitive person? Do you like to win? I think most of us would say we would rather win at something than lose. I know I would. I’m very competitive. However, sometimes we must stop and think, what are we winning, and is it truly that important? What are we giving up aiming for that win?
I think hobbies and activities outside of the home are important. I teach and encourage my children to pursue things they enjoy doing. I feel it’s important for all of us to keep our brains and bodies stimulated and to volunteer time to do good things for others.
I also feel it’s important to devote time to improve in our activities. I enforce commitment with my children. If they join a team, club, or organization, then they know they are committed to continue that activity for the duration of the year or season. If they make that commitment, they’re going to finish it out.
Our pastor spoke about habits, behaviors, and activities in his sermon this week. He spoke about trying versus training, specifically that we need to stop trying and start training to be spiritually successful.
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever,” (1 Corinthians 24-25).
Do you have a hobby you are committed to? Is it a physical activity or sport or something else? Is that pursuit something God called you to do or something you took on yourself?
What are the time constraints of your activity? Do you devote one night a month, a couple of hours every week, or does it require 2.5-3.5 hours away from home multiple nights a week plus an hour or more on the nights you are home and sometimes a weekend morning as well? Does it take away time from godly pursuits or time away from your family? If you work, often the only time available to devote to God and family is on weekday evenings and weekends. That time together is precious; you can’t get it back.
What kind of expenses come with your hobby or habit? Do those expenses take away from things your family may need instead? “I work hard to make that money, so I can spend it how I want.” Have you heard that before, or have you said that before? What about God’s portion? He blessed you with the means to work. Are you giving Him a ten percent tithe first?
Does your hobby include spending time with ungodly people? Jesus himself dined with lost sinners but He did so to teach them God’s word and will. If you’re consorting with ungodly people multiple times a week, are you witnessing to them about Jesus and letting His light shine through you or simply speaking and behaving as they do to better fit in?
Does your hobby put a burden on your significant other who has added responsibilities when you’re not present? Is it causing strain in your relationship?
If you’re devoted to an activity that God hasn’t called you to, that doesn’t bring glory to Him, that isn’t reaching anyone for Christ, that takes time and money away from God and your family, and is negatively affecting your relationships, why are you doing it?
“I’m doing it to show my kids that they shouldn’t sit around the house doing nothing but getting fat.” Physical fitness is a great thing, and staying healthy is positive for all aspects of your life. However, fitness can become a false god when that is the primary focus of your life.
Several health organizations recommend at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity a week for adults, which equates to 30 minutes five days a week. Thirty minutes to an hour a day is a manageable time frame for physical fitness that still allows for devoted time to God and family.
“I’m doing it because it’s a stress reliever for me.” Do you know what else is a stress reliever? Prayer. Daily quiet time with God. Bible study. Am I great at faithfully doing these? No. While I do pray frequently throughout the day, I find it harder to devote that quiet time and Bible study daily. However, when I am intentional in my spiritual training and getting into routine, these are easy to fit into my day.
The Bible teaches us, “…train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come,” (1 Timothy 7b-8).
I feel it’s safe to say that the things you devote much of your free time to are the things most important to you. When you look at your daily timeline, how much time are you devoting to God, to your kids, to your spouse? How much time are you devoting to your hobby or habit?
I wanted to be a parent, but more importantly, God chose me to be a parent. There are many things that I want to do, but while my children still rely on me, I will put those things on the backburner until God calls me to pursue them or until my children are older and I have more free time to do things for me.
If you feel like certain areas of your life are off-track, ask why. You may find that your priorities don’t align with God’s, and you may not be going down a path He wants you on. If you seek glory for your own gain, when you stand in that winner’s circle, don’t be surprised if you’re standing there alone.
You can gain a crown that won’t last, or you can gain the ultimate prize-spiritual fulfillment and a life of purpose serving the one who sacrificed His life for yours.
As my pastor said, “You have been trying too long; stop trying and start training.” However, I will take it a step further and say train the hardest for those things that God has called you to. If you’re devoting your time and energy toward something that’s not bringing Him glory, it’s most likely something you shouldn’t be doing or at least shouldn’t be spending excessive time and resources doing.
Spiritual training is more vital than physical, but physical training can also be spiritual if your focus is on God while doing it. Aim for the crown that will last forever.
Have a blessed week!
-Becky
