“For if anyone considers himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Let each person examine his own work, and then he can take pride in himself alone, and not compare himself with someone else. For each person will have to carry his own load. Let the one who is taught the word share all his good things with the teacher. Don’t be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a person sows he will also reap, because the one who sows to his flesh will reap destruction from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit. Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith,” (Galatians 6:3-10).

I’m a sports fan, and I enjoy both watching and participating in worthy competitions. My sons and I are avid basketball fans, so we’ve been keeping up with the tumultuous ups and downs of March Madness. My youngest and I lamented the fall of Duke last night, our number one pick due to the moniker I gave him as a toddler, Luke the Duke. Baseball and spring softball season are also in full swing (both professionally and locally-Go Cardinals!). We’ve also been cheering my nephew on in flag-football, and my oldest son has his first spring soccer game this week.

However, competition doesn’t exist in sports and gaming alone; it tends to be present in all aspects of our lives. Rivalry can be present in our work lives, academics, extracurricular activities, politics, shopping (think Black Friday sales), dating, friend groups, and even in our homes. Some competition can be healthy while at other times it can bring out the worst in us, forever destroying relationships after hurtful words are uttered or destructive behavior exhibited. Oftentimes we initiate battles in our lives for the most nonsensical reasons because we get caught up in the moment. We can also be our own worst enemies on occasion.

I’m a competitive person and always have been. However, over the years, I’ve learned that losing is a part of life. Every loss is an opportunity to learn and improve oneself by analyzing the positives and negatives. Not winning also provides an incentive to work harder to succeed next time. It doesn’t mean that losing doesn’t hurt because it does, but it’s not the end of the world, and tomorrow always brings new opportunities.

I also learned over the years to choose my battles more wisely. While some issues may be worth every ounce of effort and sacrifice, most matters truly aren’t worth the conflict, especially when you consider the long-term risks versus value.

There are two women in the Bible who had an unhealthy competition we can learn much from.

Rachel and Leah

(Genesis 29-35)

Rachel and Leah were sisters. Their story is an interesting one filled with both sorrow and gladness for each of them at different times. Their unhealthy competition between one another stemmed, unfortunately, from one man.

Jacob, the younger son of Isaac and Rebekah, had fled his homeland to escape the ire of his brother after tricking their father and stealing Esau’s inheritance. He went to his mother’s homeland of Paddan Aram to find a wife there among his uncle’s house. He first met Rachel, one of Laban’s daughters, and Jacob fell in love with her. Therefore, he made a deal with Laban to work seven years for him as payment for Rachel’s hand in marriage.

Laban agreed, but it was Jacob’s turn to be deceived. When daylight broke after the wedding festivities, it was Laban’s eldest daughter Leah, not Rachel, beside him. Laban’s answer to Jacob’s indignation was, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work,” (Genesis 29:26-27).

Jacob agreed, and so the sisters were forced to share the same husband. Unsurprisingly, things did not go well, and the situation turned the two sisters against one another. My sister is my best friend, and I couldn’t imagine fighting with her as Leah and Rachel did one another. However, we are lucky times have changed, and women aren’t forced into the same situations as in days of old.

Besides their birth order, the Bible also shares details of the sisters’ appearances. “Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful,” (Genesis 29: 17). We know that Jacob loved Rachel and wanted to marry her, while Leah became his first wife deceptively and was unloved by her husband.

In those times, women were greatly valued for their ability to bear children for their husbands, and so the rivalry began. Rachel had already won the competition for her husband’s heart, but we find she was not to win the race to motherhood. “When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless,” (Genesis 29:31).

We find that Leah was truly blessed, initially giving birth to four sons. With each consecutive birth, she verbalizes her hope that her husband would come to love her for giving him sons. However, that hope wasn’t realized, and with the birth of her fourth son Leah didn’t seek love from her husband but instead named her son Judah, vowing, “…This time I will praise the Lord…” (Genesis 29:35).

Despite having the love of her husband, Rachel, who had no children yet became distraught and jealous of Leah’s fertility. “…So she said to Jacob, ‘Give me children, or I’ll die!’” (Genesis 30:1). Instead of turning to God, in desperation Rachel instead gave her servant Bilhah to Jacob to bear children for her. Bilhah had two sons with Jacob, and Rachel, feeling vindicated, bragged, “…I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won…,” (Genesis 30:8).

Not one to give up without a fight, Leah then gave her servant Zilpah to Jacob to bear children for her. Zilpah had two sons with Jacob. However, that was not the end of the quarrel. One day Leah’s eldest son Reuben brought some mandrake plants home to his mother. The mandrake was historically thought to help with fertility and conception in barren women. Therefore, when Rachel learned Leah had some, she went to her sister and asked for some mandrakes.

Leah, continuing to squabble with her sister said, “…Wasn’t it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son’s mandrakes too?” (Genesis 30:15). Desperate to try anything to have a baby, Rachel again turned to something other than God and bartered with her sister for an evening with their husband in exchange for the mandrakes.

Leah later bore Jacob two more sons and one daughter before Rachel’s hopes were finally realized. “Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and enabled her to conceive. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, ‘God has taken away my disgrace.’ She named him Joseph, and said, ‘May the Lord add to me another son,’” (Genesis 30: 22-24).

I find it interesting that Rachel was finally blessed with a son of her own after all the struggle and jealousy and heartache, and instead of being ecstatic with the gift she was given, she ends her statement expressing the desire for more. She had her husband’s love, and she finally provided him with a son, but that didn’t seem to be enough as Leah had six sons and a daughter.

I’m not sure why Rachel was seeking more in life to feel fulfilled, but she didn’t make wise choices moving forward. When Jacob fled from Laban with his family and belongings to return to his homeland, Rachel stole her father’s false gods from his house. Then, when Laban caught up to them and confronted Jacob about the theft, Rachel hid them underneath herself and lied about why she couldn’t get up to allow her father to search her tent.

Despite this, Jacob still exhibited his favoritism for Rachel as he divided up his children and their mothers and lined them up to face his brother Esau and his potential violence. He put the two servants Bilhah and Zilpah in front with their sons, then placed Leah and her children next in line, with Rachel and Joseph in the back.

Later, God did bless Rachel with another son as she had hoped. However, the birth was exceedingly difficult and took her life. Before she died, instead of rejoicing that her hopes were realized, she dejectedly named her son Ben-Oni, meaning son of my trouble. However, upon her death, Jacob renamed him Benjamin, son of my right hand. Rachel, the beloved wife, was buried on the side of the road on the way to Ephrath with a pillar placed to mark the spot. Leah lost her sister but became the sole wife of Jacob (now called Israel).

So, who won the competition in the end? That’s a difficult question to answer, but I surmise that they were both winners and losers throughout their dispute. Rachel was the beauty and the beloved wife. Joseph, her firstborn, became the favored son with Benjamin a close second. Joseph would later save his family from starvation, leading them to Egypt during the time of famine.

We never learn whether Jacob came to love his wife Leah, but we do know Leah was honored by both Jacob and God in the end. Upon his death, Jacob was laid to rest by Leah in the cave of Machpelah, not by Rachel. God greatly blessed Leah, making her not only a mother seven times over, but a celebrated matriarch of the nation of Israel. Furthermore, both King David and Jesus the Messiah were descendants of Leah’s fourth son, Judah.

Both Rachel and Leah were competing for the love, affection, and respect of a man, and neither of them were truly satisfied because no person can bring you eternal love and happiness. That stems from only one being, our Heavenly Father.

“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him,” (1 John 4:16). “Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!” (Psalm 144:15b).

Earthly competitions can be fun, and we can learn and grow from them. However, in the grand and eternal scheme of things, they really don’t mean much of anything. There is an eternal battle that rages on every single day between forces of good and evil, between Heaven and Hell, between God Almighty and Satan, and the greatest opposition we will face in this life is the competition for souls, both ours and those around us. Jesus himself battled Satan in the desert for forty days before finishing victorious.

There was a ridiculous movie made several years back about NASCAR racing with a well-known quote stating, “If you’re not first, your last.” However, Jesus himself stated the exact opposite regarding the spiritual fight we face daily. “But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first,” (Matthew 19:30).

Going back to March Madness, it was heartening to see that after the Auburn loss to Florida in the men’s Final Four, the team, who has been very vocal about their faith, was seen in a prayer huddle, giving it all to God.

What are you battling for today, and how truly important is the win? Are you a competitor for Jesus, and if so, what are you willing to lose to win souls for His kingdom?

No matter if your attempts bring about a win or a loss, keep up the fight and adopt the mantra of Leah: “This time I will praise the Lord!”

Have a blessed week!

-Becky