“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise,” (Isaiah 43:19-21).

When I Googled definition of wilderness, several adjectives appeared: uncultivated, uninhabited, inhospitable, neglected, abandoned. It doesn’t sound very exciting, does it? When I think of a wilderness, I think of remote land unspoiled by human hands, and I kind of like the idea of that. I love hiking through and exploring such areas. However, having been pampered by all the comforts of this modern era, I don’t know that I could survive in any such place without a lot of help.

A wilderness doesn’t just refer to a physical area but can also describe a time of darkness or despair in our lives. A spiritual wilderness can be a time of evaluation, preparation, and temptation often filled with sadness, loneliness, and isolation…a trial of endurance in the waiting.

The Bible describes in several places a natural wilderness, such as when God directed Moses to lead the Israelites through the wilderness for forty years or when John the Baptist was preaching in the wilderness of Judea. God also alludes to wilderness seasons during our lives, such as when Job was tested beyond what would have been bearable for most of us.

In Deuteronomy 32:1-11, Moses reminded the Israelites that God protects His people during the greatest trials. “In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft.”

I would assume we all have a personal example of a wilderness season. Unfortunately, many of us have likely been thrust into the wilderness more than once. Two of the worst times of my life revolved around men who let me and my child(ren) down. I have a lot of guilt surrounding these periods of life because I’m the one who let these individuals in my life in the first place, and I allowed the disrespect and mistreatment to carry on far longer than I should have.

I will never forget the day in 2006 when I got out of my college classes early, went home to my shared apartment, and walked inside to find my infant daughter wailing while being physically abused by her father. Over the years I’ve tried to push that image to the far recess of my mind, but it’s a memory that will never go away.

I vividly recall that time sort of came to a standstill at that moment as I froze in shock, my heart dropping out of my chest as he looked up at me and his expression of anger turned to one of surprise and then fear, knowing he’d been caught. It was probably only a second or two that I stood there, but it seemed much longer. Then, I snapped. I started screaming as I rushed to grab my daughter out of his hands, and then I ran to the nursery, locked the door, and then sobbing, rocked my baby girl in my arms while I used my cell phone to call for help. I promised that never again would I allow myself to get into a similar situation.

I thought I was making a wiser decision the second time around, despite several red flags, including an earlier short-lived relationship with the individual that wasn’t ideal. However, as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, the Bible instructs that when we let the heart overrule our brain, we’re often led astray.

Just after our marriage, a devastating secret was revealed which, had I known ahead of time, would have prevented any attachment from arising on my side. However, I had already made a vow to my spouse and to God, so I chose to make the best of the situation and move forward. While I trusted the individual to respect me, keep his promises to me and our children, and love me as Jesus loves His church, I find that I again failed in my choices as evidenced by the current wilderness season I’m in.

Another unforgettable moment occurred during an early May 2024 morning around 1:30 AM when I came home happy but tired from my daughter’s Project Graduation celebration to be met at the door by my husband of sixteen years telling me I would be served divorce papers sometime in the following days.

Again, time seemed to stop for a moment. The only thing my fatigued brain could say was “Ok, thanks”, and then I walked to the bedroom where I lay in bed until the sun came up. Then, with zero sleep, I drove to St. Louis alone for some scheduled medical tests, anxious for the outcome. There’s a quote by an unknown person I read recently that states, “How a man treats his child’s mother, is the biggest reflection of himself.” It’s a hard lesson learned through wilderness seasons.

We all experience unique tribulations, periods of loss, and instances that test our physical, psychological, and spiritual limits. Jesus himself endured the wilderness for forty days while being tempted by Satan. He passed his trial, and I pray that I pass the one I’m currently facing as well.

I did learn from my first wilderness season that God is always there in those remote and desolate places to help us overcome the struggles and obstacles we face, and in time He heals all wounds if we allow Him the opportunity. Therefore, I know He will continue to carry me through this period as well. He will do the same for you.

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge,” (Psalm 62:5-8).

There was a biblical woman who also found herself in both a personal and literal wilderness in two different instances.

Hagar

(Genesis 16, 21:8-21)

Hagar’s story is not cheerful. Hagar was an Egyptian slave to Abraham’s wife Sarah. As such, Hagar had no say in her future. At the first mention of Hagar, we read how she was forced into a sexual relationship with Abraham to provide a surrogate heir for Sarah to raise.

However, once Hagar became with child, her relationship with her mistress soured. “When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress,” (Genesis 16:4b). Frustrated, Sarah then became abusive toward Hagar. In desperation to escape her personal wilderness, and with no family or friends around to seek help from, Hagar fled into the desert. There, in that remote place separated from all she knew, Hagar found something she wasn’t expecting…hope in the form of a personal encounter with the Lord.

God sent an angel to Hagar asking what she was doing. When she answered that she was running away from Sarah (then Sarai), the angel instructed her to, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her,” (Genesis 16:9b). I feel like that would be a hard thing to do, return to the home of your abuser. However, unfortunately that is a common reality for many who feel they have nowhere else to go. I would wonder why God would send Hagar back if I didn’t know the rest of the story. God sent her back because He had a specific plan in which Hagar and her child had a role to play.

Hagar obeyed God’s request and returned to Sarah’s household after hearing His promise to her. “The angel added, ‘I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.’ The angel of the Lord also said to her: ‘You are now pregnant and you will give birth to a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery,” (Genesis 16:10-11).

As God had told her, Hagar was blessed with a son named Ishmael, meaning God hears, in honor of her wilderness encounter with the Lord. We aren’t given details of Hagar’s life in the following years until Sarah’s son Isaac is born, but we can assume she carried on her duties to Sarah while nurturing her son. We know from scripture that at the age of thirteen Ishmael was circumcised with Abraham and all the men in his father’s household. We also know that God promised Abraham that while His covenant would be with Isaac, He would also make Ishmael into a great nation.

When Isaac’s weaning feast occurred, the Bible tells us that Sarah became angry because Ishmael was mocking Isaac. Therefore, she forced Hagar and Ishmael to leave her home for good. Abraham provided Hagar with some provisions and a skin filled with water, and sent them on their way, back into the wilderness.

Traveling through the harsh desert climate with their supplies long gone, Hagar and Ishmael were literally dying from thirst. Unable to witness her son’s suffering and impending death any longer, Hagar positioned him under a bush and walked away to grieve in an isolated area.

Once again, God revealed Himself to Hagar in the wilderness. He again sent an angel who renewed Hagar’s hope and physically revived her and Ishmael. As only God can, He produced a safe-to-drink, water-filled well in the middle of the desert that provided life for the two outcasts. Hagar and Ishmael continued to reside in the desert region, and God remained with Ishmael as he grew. The last we read of Hagar, she had gotten a wife for Ishmael from Egypt, her homeland.

Although Hagar’s story wasn’t the happily ever after she might have hoped for, she was blessed by God. She experienced two specific wilderness seasons, but during those times she was also gifted with two personal encounters with the Lord. She had a son and was promised a long line of descendants. She escaped the life of slavery and was able to raise her son herself. She was given an opportunity to start over and was able to survive and thrive in the wilderness with the Lord’s help.

Whatever wilderness you’re lost in today, know that God is with you, even if you don’t sense Him right now. When there’s no one else to turn to and nowhere else to go, call out to Him, and He will guide you to a safe place. He will provide that life-giving well to sustain you. For He promises us, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze,” (Isaiah 43:2).

Have a blessed week!

-Becky