Who is Jesus?

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful,” (John 15:1-2).

I’ve learned that some of the sweetest relationships in life don’t happen because two people are perfect for each other. They happen because two imperfect people are both learning to stay connected to Jesus.

My boyfriend sent me a picture yesterday that read, “She focused on God. He did the same. God gave them each other,” and for us that is so true. Just like everyone, we’ve been through some tough seasons individually. For the past couple of years, we have both tried to stay focused on Jesus, giving Him free reign to do as He willed, even when it was hard.

It paid off because us finding one another truly was a God thing. Even though our relationship is still new, so far, it’s been one of the healthiest of my life because Jesus has been at the forefront from the get-go.

Think about a healthy relationship in your own life. Maybe it’s marriage, a parental role, a romantic relationship, a connection with a family member, or a friendship that has stood the test of time through some of life’s hardest moments.

No matter what type of relationship you find yourself in, they aren’t always easy. There are misunderstandings, difficult conversations, moments when feelings get hurt and patience runs thin. There are also seasons when life itself feels heavy.

However, something makes a healthy relationship different. There is grace. There is forgiveness. There is a willingness to listen. There is humility. There is a desire to love even when it’s not easy.

I’ve come to realize that those things don’t simply grow because two people try harder; they grow when Jesus is at the center of it all. When two people, two separate branches, remain connected to the Vine, something beautiful happens.

For the past three weeks, I’ve been listening to sermons covering John 15, so the timing worked well for this blog. In John 15:5, Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing”.

A branch cannot produce fruit by itself. It must remain connected to the vine, and I think the same is true of our relationships. We can love someone deeply, but if we’re trying to love them without Jesus, eventually our own limitations begin to show.

Our patience runs out. Our pride gets in the way. Our expectations become unrealistic. Our words become sharper than they should. We hold onto offenses. We try to change the other person instead of allowing God to change us. However, when we stay connected to Jesus, He begins producing something in us that changes the way we love.

Galatians 5:22-23a was another passage covered in the sermon yesterday, and it describes the fruit of the Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

Think about how different our relationships would be if those qualities were growing in us every day. Imagine responding with patience instead of irritation, forgiving instead of keeping a record of wrongs, speaking gently instead of reacting harshly, choosing peace instead of needing to win, showing kindness when someone doesn’t deserve it, offering grace when someone falls short.

That kind of love doesn’t come from simply deciding to be a better person. It comes from staying connected to Jesus. The fruit belongs to the Vine, and as long as the branches are producing fruit for the Vine, they remain connected.

As we read earlier, God the Father is portrayed as the gardener who will do one of two things with branches attached to the Vine: If they are bearing fruit, He will prune them to make them even more fruitful. If they aren’t bearing any fruit, He will cut off the branches.

While there are things in our lives that make us feel good, sometimes those things may need to be removed because God hasn’t called us to do them and they don’t bring Him any glory. When God prunes our branches, He’s preparing us for even better opportunities, even more fruit. We need to trust that He knows what is best for us and allow him to work in our lives.

That is true in our relationships too. Sometimes, we have romantic partners or friendships with people who are a lot of fun to be around. However, sometimes those individuals steer us away from God and from the things we know we should be doing. If those relationships don’t bring any glory to God or they lead us into cycles of repeated sin, they’re probably not bearing healthy fruit and likely won’t last long-term or will leave us feeling unfulfilled and disappointed.

“So what fruit was produced then from the things you are now ashamed of? The outcome of those things is death. But now, since you have been set free from sin and have become enslaved to God, you have your fruit, which results in sanctification—and the outcome is eternal life! For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord,” (Romans 6:21-23).

One of the most beautiful things about a Christ-centered relationship is that Jesus isn’t simply an occasional part of it. He becomes the source of it.

In a marriage, that means two people aren’t simply trying to make each other happy. They’re both seeking Jesus, the source of true love and fulfillment. In friendship, it means encouraging one another toward Christ rather than simply agreeing with each other. In family relationships, it means choosing grace and forgiveness even when emotions are complicated.

“You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me,” (John 15:3-4).

The healthiest relationships aren’t necessarily the ones without problems. They’re the ones in which both people know where to turn when problems arise. Together, those individuals go to Jesus and return to His Word. They seek His wisdom. They pray, forgive, and give grace. They keep growing together, supporting one another while attached to Jesus the Vine who also nourishes the relationship.

The strength of a relationship isn’t proven when everything is easy. It’s revealed when things become difficult. There will be seasons when someone disappoints you. There will be moments when you don’t see eye to eye. There may even be seasons when you wonder if the relationship can survive or question whether you even want it to. When conflict comes (and it will), remember you can both go back to the Vine, back to Jesus, the only one who can love us perfectly.

As the True Vine, Jesus is our anchor, our security, the source of our strength and sustenance, the one to which we cling to thrive and grow. Being rooted in Jesus allows us to go to Him when we don’t know what to do. We can pray, forgive, communicate, extend grace, and set healthy boundaries when necessary. However, we must also trust God with what we cannot control because our relationship isn’t ultimately held together by our effort. It’s held together by the One we’re both tethered to.

Whatever type of relationship you find yourself in, the goal is to build it rooted in Jesus. In doing so, He teaches us when to speak and when to be quiet and that love isn’t always about getting our way. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do for a relationship is pray. Jesus exhibited this when He cried out to the Father in prayer for us and our relationship with Him as He hung dying on the cross for us, “And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,’” (Luke 23:34).

If there is someone you love deeply today, pray for your relationship. Jesus tells us clearly that we can do nothing without Him. You may accomplish many things, but to have any relationship that is fulfilling, sincere, and everlasting, it must stem from Jesus. When we stay connected to the Vine, His fruit begins showing up in our daily interactions with those we care about. It’s at that point we don’t just have a relationship that looks good on the outside but one that is growing from the inside out.

Whether you’re married, single, dating, raising children, building friendships, or navigating complicated family relationships, remember this: Don’t make another person your source. They can’t carry that weight.

Your spouse can’t be your source of peace. Your friend can’t be your source of joy. Your family can’t fulfill every need in your heart. Only Jesus can. Let Him be your Vine, and let your relationships grow from the overflow of your connection to Him.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit,” (Jeremiah 17:7-8).

Have a blessed week!

-Becky